“What will people think?” is a near-universal human fear, at least to those living in Western culture.

Fear of being judged was one of the entry points to diet and fitness culture for me and it is also one of the obstacles for me in leaving all that behind.

“She’s let herself go”.

I don’t have to imagine that is what some people will be thinking as I gain weight, lose a bit of muscle and perhaps indulge occasionally in a “forbidden food”.

I know that is what some people will think – I have seen comments on the instagram feeds of former fitspo, diet and transformation promoters turned health at every size, body positive and intuitive eating advocates that say exactly that.

Gosh – let’s be honest here, as someone who has absorbed the mainstream messaging around health and body ideals, have had that same thought myself about others.

And as a “Type A” personality, the thought of not being in control or others thinking I am not in control is a terrible thought.

If I throw away these rules around what I should or shouldn’t eat, how much I should exercise and what my body should look like, then I lose control don’t I?


In her article for The Unedit, @bodyposypanda aka Megan says this:

“…spending our lives playing by the rules only makes sense if the game is real. And it’s not. The game of winning in dietland is the greatest illusion that’s ever been crafted. One that’s been fabricated and sold to us over decades as the only right way to exist in a body, when there’s never actually been a wrong way to exist in a body. And the prize of happiness at the end of the game? We never get it. Because there’s always a new rule, a new body part to monitor, or a new goal to hit…The people who are the fastest to say that someone has let themselves go or given up on their body have no idea that the whole game is a lie…Because they’ve pinned their whole life on it being real.”


rf-screw-your-rules-tank-white-01_300x300We have only “lost control” if we buy into the idea that there is something to control in the first place. I am choose not to “let myself go”,  but to “let myself be”.

Let’s be clear, it is not about going out there and saying just how much weight I can gain or junk food I can consume. I still want to honour my body and feed it with yummy, lovely nutrients. I still want to move by body daily and do exercise that is enjoyable and works for me in my current season … but, I can do this without striving for a false ideal and trying to make my body into something it was never supposed to be.  

There is a state in which my body will find a happy set point and healthy state of existence and I think “Health at Every Size” is simply about intuiting that and learning to be at peace with it.

#healthateverysize #antidiet #intuitiveeating #nojudgement #bodypositivity


what will people think

2 thoughts on “WHAT WILL PEOPLE THINK?

  1. Mel somewhere you mention ‘ the ideal’ size. That phrase used to sicken me! As a tall woman around 83 kgs and shoe size 10 I have learnt to keep my head high and say ‘stuff it to the ideal size…if it doesn’t fit me, it wasn’t meant for me!’ ‘ I am extraordinary. My God loves me, my husband adores me…watch out world here I am! ‘ It took me 20 years to get to this mindset. And in the words of DOVE…” love the skin you’re in”.

    • Yep this fabrication of “and ideal” size is totally absurd … and most of us have sort of bought this concept that there is an “ideal” or a norm unquestioned. I know I did. I mean it appeared that science and doctors could identify an “ideal size” even from a healthy perspective. But it turns out if you dig a bit, even the medical profession association between ‘weight’ and ‘fat’ and health is unfounded. The BMI formula was basically commissions/pushed by pharmaceutical companies, and the categories within that are quite ‘arbitrary’. That is so awesome that you have been able to full adopt that mindset. I have had my moments of acceptance, and intellectually I understand that I am uniquely created and also so much more than my physical vessel! BUT still needing some paradigm shifts at a deeper level for lasting change.

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